Log in

No account? Create an account
03 November 2006 @ 03:34 pm
New fanfic: "Lucid", rated M  
Title: Lucid

Summary: Kakashi is going to the Special Hell.

Rating: M for explicit sexual content. Graphic content.

Timeline: about 2 years in the future of the manga timeline, no real spoilers

Free background music: Crushing Velvet - "XXX"

Comments: Part 1. This portion of the fic is a dream, and thus one of the characters is extremely OOC. Fantasies are like that; future chapters will not be so OOC. This is the first official part to the untitled teaser I posted last week. This was the hardest part for me to write, as it's only the third smut scene I've ever written, and it's considerably different from the other two attempts. I'm also still kind of in shock at the fact that I'm writing this fic at all.
--Also, my Kakashi swears. A lot. In his own head.

Now cross-posted to adultfanfiction.net.


1 - I think you're strange, you think I'm pretty

Fists pounded against his door. One. Two. Three. Four. Five.

A pause.

Again, steadily. One. Two. Three. Four. Five.

Kakashi slid his book further over his face, determined to ignore the sound. The mission he'd just spent several days and a great deal of blood on continued to overwhelm his every waking thought, and to that end he was endeavoring to stop having waking thoughts altogether for the next several hours. He hadn't even had the will to make it to his bedroom, not when his trustworthy and comforting couch was that much closer. He figured he'd just lay on it for about a year and let his front door take care of itself.

Knock. Knock. Knock. Knock. Knock. If Kakashi hadn't already killed six people this week he'd have yanked the door open and done this asshole in too.

"Hatake Kakashi, I'm coming in there." Female asshole, and shinobi. Great. He'd just stay on the couch and eventually she'd get the point and leave.

The door creaked--so much for his deadbolt lock, what a waste of money--and from his couch he saw the shadow of an intruder fall across his carpet. The shadow moved across the carpet to stop near his couch as a medium-sized body followed it into his tiny, open living room.

"There you are," Sakura said. "Tsunade-sama said you didn't report to the hospital."

"Did you draw the short straw?"

She smiled, and he pictured her with her hands on her hips, elbows jutting out and one foot tapping. "My shift was ending and she told me you were back so I volunteered to leave a few minutes early to check on you. I don't know why you're afraid of hospitals, Sensei."

"I'm not afraid of them," he muttered from beneath his paperback. He hadn't even lifted it to speak to her, choosing to relish the dark cover it provided over his eyes. "And I'm perfectly healthy, so you can just amble on homeward and consider your duty done."

He wasn't prepare for her next comment to be delivered in a breathy whisper right beside his ear. "Kakashi-sensei," Sakura murmured. "You know I can't leave until I've given you a complete physical. Take your clothes off."

Okay what the hell? The hand holding the Icha Icha book over his face jerked slightly. He lifted it let his good eye examine the girl kneeling next to his couch. She was smiling mischievously and gently running her fingertips over her neck area, playing with the low-dipping edge of her collar. Sakura was being weird. Very, very weird.

"You don't need that," she said, standing up and tossing his book across the room. He followed it with his eyes, then looked blankly back to her. Weird, weird, weird.

"Okay," Kakashi replied as casually as he could. "I'll read it later. What's going on?"

She flipped her head back, tossing her hair. "Sit up."

The jounin sat up on the couch and examined the young woman before him. She was wearing a shirt-vest thing that covered only about as much chest as a skimpy swimsuit might dare, with fishnet across her stomach and down her arms. Her skirt was so negligible it almost didn't deserve mentioning. She was wearing high-heeled boots, with thigh-high fishnet stalkings just begging for an enterprising set of fingers to slide them down and off completely.

Not Sakura after all, then. Like most kunoichi, Sakura often dressed provocatively, but she didn't dress like a whore. And she would never reach out to start unbuttoning his pants one-handed, like a certain pink-painted row of fingernails was doing right now. Either he had an admirer who liked to play henge dress-up, or he'd finally collapsed from exhaustion after all.

"Kakashi-sensei," Sakura scolded lightly, dropping to kneel between his legs. "You're not paying attention to me."

Her hand dipped below his hemline and circled his cock. He sucked in a breath. "I'm paying attention."

"You never paid attention to me like you did Sasuke or Naruto," she whined, and sqeezed him roughly. Then her grip loosened and her fingers grazed up and down his length like feathers. "But I'm here to examine you. You can be punished later."

Hatake Kakashi felt like his was in someone else's body as he watched Sakura tug his erection free of his pants, holding it up to open air and caressing it with both hands. He leaned back into the couch, lifted his hips, and moaned.

"Sakura," he breathed, voice straining through his teeth. "I was your teacher just a couple years ago. I'm thirty years old, and you're not even twenty yet. You should go home."

"That's just like you, Kakashi-sensei. You're all talk and no...fun." She licked the head of his shaft and the image of sweet, endearing, bubblegum-innocent Sakura kneeling between his legs with her tongue caressing his cock was almost more than Kakashi could handle. He didn't care if this was real or not. He groaned and when his hips jerked involuntarily upward he had the unforgettable sight of watching her lips close around dick.

Fuck fuck fuck. Sakura, little pink Sakura, was sucking his dick. FuckFuckFuckFuckFuckOhGod. Sakura. In his apartment living room, with a body that was not little at all and a mouth that--

"Shit, Sakura..."

She lifted her head to order, "Quiet, Sensei. We have to finish your exam," then went back to work at 'attending' to his arousal with her lips and her throat.

"Kakashi," he corrected in between gasped breaths, running his hands over her scalp, watching his fingers comb her bright hair. This shouldn't be happening. This couldn't be happening. He was supposed to be sleeping off his mission, not--

She leaned back and let his cock spring free of her mouth with a slick pop!, licking the corner of her lips and grinning like a woman far older. She put her hands on his knees and shimmied upward, brushing his erection from her chest down to her uncovered stomach as she leaned over him. With shaky breaths Kakashi brought a hand to remove his mask, but she stopped him, catching his wrist.

"Leave it on," she commanded, and he obeyed unquestionably. Not only was his subconscious perverted in its choice of partners, it was kinky too. Interesting, he thought as he helped tug Sakura's leather and fishnet top off. His heavy flack jacket and undershirt followed. He pushed her almost non-existent skirt up to her waist, and at this point he was barely surprised to see she had nothing underneath.

"I want you, Kakashi." His hands on her waist trembled. She moved her lips over his neck, his shoulders, talking all the while. "I want to let you inside me. You know I've always admired you, admired how strong and frightening you could be. I want know what it feels like to have you take me, to see everything you keep bottled up just come bursting out."

She climbed up fully onto the couch, legs on either side of him. She was so fucking close.

"Kakashi, Kakashi." She was lifting her hips, she was so close now, and he wasn't doing anything to stop her. He could feel the heat of her, the brush of her pubic hair against his foreskin, and he wanted--

he wanted--

Sakura lowered herself over him at the same time as he thrust violently upward, and Kakashi woke alone in his bed, staring up at the gently spinning ceiling fan.

It was night, and he could hear the crickets outside his window.

"Well," he said aloud to the empty room. "Fuck."

Zaila: Kakashizaila on November 4th, 2006 12:48 am (UTC)
...*stunned silence*...Wooooow....That was sweet. Thumbs way up!
Rashka the Demon (wolf in the cave): William left standingrashaka on November 4th, 2006 02:59 am (UTC)
Thanks. :)
serenanna: Bunnyserenanna on November 4th, 2006 12:58 am (UTC)
::rereads and recrosses her legs:: Damn . . . but a good damn . . . This has lots of potential. You also get my congratulations for being a heck of a tease by stopping where you did. >.< You sure this is your first delving into pure smut? ::mops up the drool::

Ok, serious now. It needs some beta-ing of course, found a few dropped words and misspellings. Other then that, the visual has me wishing I was writing a smut scene right now too, or at least had more to read, damnit! ::clunks head a few times:: Are the other chapters this smutty? Do you plan to polish it up and post it somewhere else when it's all done?
Rashka the Demon (wolf in the cave): Origin of Loverashaka on November 4th, 2006 02:31 am (UTC)
Thanks to your reminder I just ran it through a spellchecker; I'd forgotten to do that before. :) Found about 4 misspellings, but I didn't notice any dropped words.

Future chapters will not be this smutty-- it's a sad fact of the basic premise that the smut appears in the first chapter and if it does appear again it will be much later. Though you can expect lots of teasing one-liners floating through Kakashi's pervy subconscious, now that the idea's in his had.

You sure this is your first delving into pure smut?

Well, no. It's my third, but this one is more like porn whereas the other two were more like erotica-- full of pretty imagery and emotions. Here I was trying to imagine the fantasy of a guy who reads porn all the time... an interesting viewpoint to write.
Lady Dragon: KakaSaku Yourszelha on November 4th, 2006 01:14 am (UTC)
Hahahahahaha that was priceless!!
Kakashi having hot wet dreams about Pinky? That's amusing alright!
What happens next? ;D
Rashka the Demon (wolf in the cave): Origin of Loverashaka on November 4th, 2006 02:41 am (UTC)
Jokingly Jadejade_sabre_301 on November 4th, 2006 02:23 am (UTC)
See, this is what makes your smut so great. It's hot: She leaned back and let his cock spring free of her mouth with a slick pop!, licking the corner of her lips and grinning like a woman far older.

And then it's also very amusing: Not only was his subconscious perverted in its choice of partners, it was kinky too.

You don't take it too seriously, or try to describe *every last detail*, so the overall effect is very good. Here specifically, I love Kakashi's train of thought. His reactions and observations about the situation are so wonderfully IC, and so very, very amusing.

Plus, I really can't wait to see what happens the next time he sees her. ^_^
Rashka the Demon (wolf in the cave): Ed and The Questionrashaka on November 4th, 2006 02:38 am (UTC)
::blushing:: Sound effects will be the death of me!

You don't take it too seriously,

I couldn't write this if I took it completely seriously... I'd have to run off and hide under a couch or something. It's weird enough to write about such a big age difference-- usually something that squicks me for pairings. But on the other hand my brain won't let myself ignore it, either.

or try to describe *every last detail*, so the overall effect is very good.

Detail is a battle for me, as I always want to describe the mechanics of motion when I'm writing-- where people are standing in relation to one another, how they move from one spot or position to another, etc. Because it drives me crazy when other part leave out those explanations--- if people go from one room to another, I've always got to mention it. I'm often checking myself to make sure my fics don't read like a manual, so it's really cool to hear that I've got a balance for describing detail.

His reactions and observations about the situation are so wonderfully IC,

::laugh:: You can thank all the Kakashi fanfic I've read this month; I haven't written Naruto fic in a year and I'm many chapters behind on the manga. As it is, I'm way more nervous about Sakura. Probably why this fic is in Kakashi's POV.
Jokingly Jadejade_sabre_301 on November 4th, 2006 03:06 am (UTC)

There is a bit of squick with the age difference in this pairing--but between the average age of maturity in the Naruto universe, and the fact that most Kakasaku fics don't go younger than 17, I think it works.

I know what you mean in the detail thing--I really hate writing descriptive paragraphs in my prose, because I always try to make them pretty so they're not boring, but at the same time, people do move a LOT, and that deserves to be documented.

Well, my definition of IC is based on those same fanfics, and on my devouring of the Wikipedia section of Naruto. :-D Besides, Kakashi is a lot of fun. (I saw your response about trying to write from the POV of a porn addict--had me laughing.)
loveroftheflameloveroftheflame on November 4th, 2006 02:30 am (UTC)
oooh, my lands.. *fans self* And more is coming? Oh dear lordy... I can hardly wait...
Rashka the Demon (wolf in the cave): Origin of Loverashaka on November 4th, 2006 02:48 am (UTC)
Future parts should be less porny and more tense & awkward. :D
qoham on November 6th, 2006 01:26 am (UTC)
woohoo.....that was hot alright..>_^...heheh...i can see ur fic having a lot of potential...continue it...i really like it..^_^..i wonder what's gonna happen to our poor little sakura....lol...
p.s please update soon!!....
(Anonymous) on April 25th, 2011 04:16 pm (UTC)
public sex amateur
There is certain relief in change, even though it be from bad to worse; as I have found in travelling in a stage-coach, that it is often a comfort to shift one's position and be bruised in a new place.